by Bill Dueease
Life coaching provides a necessary and valuable additional method for you to improve your life in many different ways, including your career. Most people know and understand enough about the other nine human improvement processes to be able to select the right process at the right time. However, because of the relative newness of the life coaching process, you will find it very beneficial to learn more about life coaching to know how to use it to the fullest.
How does life coaching work?
What happens between you and your life coach? First, your life coach will be your EQUAL PARTNER. This is a dramatic difference from the other eight major human improvement processes where the other person you engage is your superior, in one way or another. And it is a critical difference. In fact, if you do not feel that your life coach is your equal partner, then the life coaching process will almost assuredly not succeed. You will most likely not achieve your coachable goals with a coach whom you feel is your superior or your inferior, for any reason. Let’s discover why this is true.
What your life coach WILL NOT do.
In describing what happens between you and your life coach, allow me to describe what a true life coach will NOT do to clear up a lot of confusion about the life coaching process. Your life coach will:
NOT tell you what to do (you are the boss, not your coach)
NOT advise you (you are the true expert, not your coach)
NOT do any work for you (it is your life and career, not your coach’s)
NOT have you discuss past relationships or events (coaching is about now and the future)
NOT have you defend or justify yourself (Coaching is a mirror reflection process of discovery on your terms. You are who you are without having to defend you)
NOT judge or evaluate you. (Coaching is about discovering the truth of you, without judgment or superiority by your coach)
NOT criticize or critique you. (It is your life; your coach has no position to impose on you)
NOT attempt to teach you. (Life coaching is about extracting the truth from within you, not delivering more outside information to you.)
What your life coach WILL do?
Your life coach will do what none of the other eight other human improvement people will do, what none of them can do, and what none of them want to do.
Your life coach will focus totally on you.
You will become the absolute center of their attention. Life coaching is all about you accomplishing your coachable goals on your terms, on your pace, on your agenda.
The discovery phase of life coaching
The first phase of all life coaching will be the discovery phase. You will start with the discovery phase and never stop discovery, you and your coach will add other phases on top of discovery, which is continuous. In discovery, your equal partner life coach will ask you personal questions about you for the purpose of having you reveal what is inside you that you cannot see. You will open up to your coach to divulge the five key ingredients that make you tick, to unravel the mystery of you. Once you reveal your inner thoughts, feelings and motivations, that you had previously not known about or fully understood, your coach will reflect them back to you. Your life coach will become your mirror to describe to you what you divulged to your coach. Through this mirroring reflective process you will discover the five ingredients that make up who you are today. These ingredients were described in Chapter 5 and are listed below for review
Your passions (the ones you know about, those you suspect but are not sure of and those that have been hidden within you that want to come out)
Your self-imposed obstacles (what you do not want to do, the opposite of passions)
Your beliefs and values, some people call this spirituality as opposed to religion, (your boundaries and integrity points)
Your talents (the ones you know about, those you suspect but are not sure of and those that have been hidden within you that want to come out)
Your priorities what is most important to you, what is second, third, etc.
This process of discovery will take several months to accomplish because there is a lot there to unravel. The end result is that you will become the World’s Leading Expert on You! This is the extremely valuable void that the life coaching fills that none of the other nine major human improvement processes will address. The biggest mystery in the world is not global warming, but is the mystery of ourselves. The reason the life coaching process has become so popular, so valuable, and has grown so much in only sixteen years is because life coaching assists people to discover themselves in such a short time, with so much more accuracy, and in such a supportive and confidential (secret) environment.
Self Discovery is a very important goal for most people
Self-discovery fills the human void of unraveling the mystery of ourselves. Self-discovery has proven to be an extremely important goal of most people. People spend billions of dollars each year in one form or another to achieve self-discovery. People want, and need to know about themselves for a host of different reasons. One of which is to be able to discover, know and obtain their ideal income position. Whole industries have evolved that purport to offer people the ability to discover themselves. But, I believe they have not provided the clear, objective, non-judgmental, totally supportive, very accurate, very fast, and confidential self-discovery that using a life coach will provide.
The life coaching process is based upon physics.
A person must look into a mirror to see his or her face. Life coaching is based upon this very same physical mirror concept. You life coach will become your personal private accurate, supportive, nonjudgmental, and objective mirror. You will see yourself through the mirror of your own life coach. And you will see the truth, accurately and quickly (relative to other methods) just like you do when you look at your face in a mirror.
What happens during your life coaching sessions?
Participating in the life coaching process will be a very new experience for anyone who has not been coached before. Describing what will transpire and how you will feel during a true life coaching session is very difficult to put into words, especially in writing. For this reason, I would like to describe what it is like being coached in two other scenarios that might help you understand the very unique dynamics that take place and the very valuable and clear results you wills get.
The orange tree life coaching scenario
Consider that you are an orange tree with oranges hanging from your many limbs. Consider that you cannot see the oranges. Also consider that the oranges represent the personal ingredients about you that make up who you are. They represent your passions; your self imposed obstacles, your beliefs and values (spirituality) , your talents and your priorities. You do not see them or fully understand them until someone else picks them and shows the oranges to you. You discover each of these ingredients as the oranges are picked and described (shown) to you. Your life coach comes along from the outside and picks your oranges and then shows them to you for you to see and understand.
If you have not been coached before, you will enjoy the easy pickings scenario, just like the first pickings from a fully loaded orange tree, there will be some easy pickings that your life coach will see, pick and describe to you early in the process. You will discover some remarkable things about you through true life coaching very quickly into the coaching sessions. Many people feel very quick results from true life coaching because of the easy pickings scenario. But just like a fully loaded orange tree, there are far more other ingredients and mysteries about you (oranges in this example) that are still ready to be discovered (picked) that are deeper within you (higher on the tree). That is why you will also continue to discover even more things about you as your oranges are picked from your whole tree and are described to you each time. You will also sprout newer oranges to replace some of the previously picked oranges, but you will not replace them all. Normally your passions might adjust with time, you self-imposed obstacles might adjust somewhat, your priorities will change dramatically, your talents will remain the same, and your beliefs and values normally remain fairly constant.
The inventory of your mind and soul scenario
Many of us have been to a medical doctor to get a physical check-up. You get weighed measured, have your blood pressure taken, have your eyes and ears examined, have your heart an lungs listened to, you have your blood and maybe your urine drawn and tested. By going through all of these tests, you will receive a medical report that describes the results of the exam. This report can be called an inventory of your body. Normally your doctor provides the results of your medical exam, offers interpretations and advises you about actions you can and many times should take to improve the physical condition of your body.
Likewise by responding to the questions of your life coach you will discover and receive an inventory of your mind and soul, but the testing process is far more enjoyable. When you discover your passions, your self imposed obstacles, you beliefs and values (spirituality) your talents and priorities, you will have an inventory that constitutes what you are really thinking and what your inner values and beliefs are. You will reveal to your coach the many things about you that have been within you for years, and your coach will mirror or describe them back to you. But your coach will only reflect these ingredients to you in a clear and understandable way, and will do so without imposing his or her agenda, without any form of judgment, and without telling you what you should or should not do.
Why you must actually experience life coaching to fully understand it
In essence, you will be the absolute center of attention for your life coach. Most likely, this will be your first interaction with another human where you get to enjoy being the king or queen, the potentate, or the emperor or empress, with total support and freedom to expose your true self with no hint of judgment, superiority, retribution, or other negative consequences. In addition there will be no concern for anything you say or feel being leaked or divulged because of the total wall of confidentiality all true life coaches protect and maintain.
Many people have a hard time truly accepting that this total support, and total secrecy relationship with another human being, because they had so few, if any, past similar previous experiences to relate to. It truly is a very new and unique relationship and place to be that can only be fully understood and appreciated by experiencing true life coaching with your ideally matched life coach. Words can only go so far.
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